Friday, October 14, 2011

The Fear You Won't Fall

Photos by Carson

Details #1
Hat-Costume department at Hudson's Bay
Shoes-Forever Young Shoes

Details #2

I love these ladies. The blondie, Brittni, is a Southern Belle like no other before. She's classy and outspoken, all at the same time. I simply adore her and her enthusiasm for everything. She's legitimately the first friend I made at BYU. Which kind of makes her amazing :)
And Carson. The fiery and sarcastic redhead that I know and love. She's a citizen of the world, having lived in Mexico, France, Britian. She's bloody brilliant at pictures btw. She does all of mine now :)
These ladies are just fan-freaking-tastic, and Brittni is so nervous about her disney princess auditions tomorrow... poor girl :(

the name of this post...
okay, all yall know by now that I have a boyfriend. And on Wednesday, we reached the one month mark. Which is astounding for a commitment phobe such as myself.
My problem is, I'm so love with the idea of being in love, that I can't handle it when the real thing comes along. Don't smile and congratulate just yet--I'm not in love. But being in a relationship, of course I can't help but imagine that when that happens, I want to know that he loves me too.
And thus the fear
It's hard for me to give myself to someone in a relationship sort of way. When I told my best guy friend this summer that I had feelings for him, I assumed I had hit the jackpot. He told me he felt the same, and my terrified little heart came out of hiding and hoped beyond hope that maybe there was a wonderful guy right in front of me.
I suppose the celebratory dances my heart did were premature, being that he changed his mind.... awk.
It's all good. We're back to normal.
But now you must understand--It hasn't been an easy road for a hopeless romantic such as myself. I may be scared of relationships, but I never ever stop fantasizing. So now, being in a relationship, it feels so different than I thought it would. How will I know if I fall in love? I hear that it's different for every person
And when I heard this Joshua Radin song, I just couldn't help but get all scared. I told Nancy I should get out of this before something crazy happened. She talked me off the ledge like a good best friend ;)

Love (not romantically), Sarai

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i really like the red hat!