Paris, Demetrius, George

A Letter to a friend:

Dear Paris, Demetrius, George--

Have you ever been in distress? I have.. And I'm in distress right now. And it's your fault. But I'm not mad at you for that. I'm mad at you for leaving, because you had no right to let that happen.

I was banking on you living. I was so ready to see you again, it wasn't even funny.

I'm also mad at that stupid car. The stupid car that you broke, and the stupid car that broke you. I used to stick my head out of the sunroof of that car while we listened to Backstreet Boys. Such pathetic music my friend--but I secretly enjoyed myself.

Be gentle, sky, and let me rest –
These bones are worn – they lack the zest
Of flesh in life – they’re marrowless! –
Their arid surface, nakedness! –
Betrayed in death; no sheen of red
From coursing blood; and blue was shed
Upon the fading out of eyes
That cased the world and gave disguise
To what my deepest thoughts had been –
But now I’m done with all I’ve seen.

Mark R Slaughter

You always made ridiculous jokes. When you would smack your head against the stool and hit the ground, it always seemed so real. And it was a joke. This isn't funny.

I guess I was just banking on your getting better. That's the assumption, isn't it? When someone pulls through you expect them to just get better. I suppose it gave us longer to say goodbye.

Except I didn't get to say goodbye.

Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off
Or you liked it that way

Band of Horses

It rained today. And if I looked at my dorms I thought I was back home again, even for a short time. It made me feel safe. When I looked at campus, the mountains disoriented me. But still. The rain was pretty nice.

I know Gillian misses you. Which makes me really sad for her. She doesn't cry that often, but when she does, it destroys me. Remember those jerks who made fun of her once? I was livid. And I know everyone had her back on that one.

You're one of those friends that sometimes I got annoyed with. I'm not gonna lie about that, but that wasn't what mattered.
OH. But you know what really sucks? I'm in a functional relationship (crazy, right?) And you never got to meet him. But he's been a great help actually. I couldn't stop crying, and he made me feel better. You know his friend died when someone burglarized his home. So he knows.

Remember the crazy trips to Shari's when Mike yelled at us? And who else did that? I just know those were the best.

And you gave me your blanket on halloween once, because I was too cold to handle life. And lynelle broke a fence. But I also never gave you your blanket back.

Death is weird. It never actually feels all that real until you recognize the absence of that person. Because I'm here, I can't really feel that you're gone. I honetsly keep thinking you'll still be hanging around the high school, like usual. Creep.

I haven't recognized your absence yet. Maybe it won't happen for a while. I tried to last night, so that maybe I would feel better. All it did was overwhelm me. I couldn't stop crying. Then Bekah gave me a snickers bar. And I still didn't feel better.

Remember when you drove us to Ryan's show cause I had such a big stupid crush on him? I vowed never to let you drive my car again because I hated the way you drove
I hate the way you drive even more now.

"The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But... but... think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses"

Love and Death

Wow I'm freaking hilarious. Aren't I?

anyways....

I miss you. A lot. well that's a lie.
I'm not at home
so I don't miss you
Not quite yet
But when I come home, it'll be a storm
a storm of emotion and pain

but also..
I know exactly where you are. you're in that big magical place that I like to call Heaven. And someday, I'll see you
but not for a while
cause I personally plan on living a very long time buddy boy

You know that scene at the end of Romeo and Juliet? That's not real life. You won't accidentally hit me with a sword, mike won't kiss me, I won't fumble to find the retractable dagger. I won't die. I'm still here. I'm just chilling out, observing all that you left behind. Good one.

Well, I'm sitting on my bed, watching Bekah study, and watching Diane read. I just watched a funny movie, and I laughed. But when the movie ended, I got sad again. And I just sat there for a long while, scrolling through your photos.

Man, when I see you, I'm going to kick your butt, cause this wasn't funny.

Love, Juliet, Hermia, Myrtle

PS: Don't expect me to like the RIP Tyler Flowers fbook page. I don't do RIP. It makes me think of halloween. Which is ridiculous, and cheesey. How about I just say miss you tylee??

 Tyler Flowers

June 21, 1993-October 5th 2011

At Tiffany's, I Wished I Was Audrey Hepburn



But first, these are the pants that I refashioned! They weren't so attractive before, being flares, which looks awful on me. Now they're cute :) thanks to Lizzie of course!

I've only worn them a few times, but they will get way too much use this fall!

I have to come up with skinny cord outfits!

And of course, these adorable window displays at Tiffany's: made especially for hopeless romantics, such as myself

I'm also kind of in love with this ring <3

All adventures in the fabulous Portland!!

Now onto the awards!

So the top award is for Drama-Acting. I'm in the second column, although you obviously can't read my name. This award means a lot to me. I started doing drama last year, when I found random auditions for Romeo and Juliet at my school. I signed up on a whim, because though I loved acting, I honestly had little experience with it at that point. So I went to auditions. I tried out. I thought I'd be lucky to get a small role. But then--gasp--I could've sworn I was hyperventilating. I looked up and saw my name on the casting sheet, across from JULIET. I had gotten the starring role in my first high school production. Most amazing moment of my life! I have this idea that any actress should be able to say she was Juliet at some point ;)

Anyway, things took off from there--this year so far I've been Hermia in a midsummer night's dream, and Mrs. Webb in Our Town. Fantastic experiences duckys!

And the bottom one is the English Department Award

I'm pretty sure reading and writing are a huge part of my life, but I never realized how good I was at writing until last years english class with Mr. Petersen. That man gave me the condfidence to realize I was GOOD at writing. Or better than good. I was pretty amazing actually. Not to brag or anything, but English is my thing. It's the academic aspect that I somehow excel at.

Both of these awards were an honor :)

Oh and for fashion purposes...

These are my dream shoes. Anyone want to buy me some expensive shoes?

Toast

Have a wonderful day Duckys :)

Sarai