Signals

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Folks. I must say, I'm the worst at deciphering signals. Men, men, men confuse me to no end! 

I have some limited experience with dating, relationships, love, the whole big dramatic joke. But I still, one hundred percent, suck at reading signals. I can flirt like no one's business, but the perceptions of the opposite gender.. I haven't the foggiest. 

But, I would like to say that I love it all. I don't even care that it confuses me. At least I have something to think about. 

Also, I love that above picture. I have a certain experience where I loathed someone with a small but still fiery passion, and as soon as I got over myself, I realized that he is an incredible person. Truly, a delight. Although he's a confusing delight...

Anyway, here's to second impressions!

Love, Sarai

PS:

First Day of My Life

(first picture)

When I first started dating the Danester, I knew we would break up eventually. We had a time limit on our relationship--an expiration date, if you will. I knew this, I knew it and I still let myself fall head over toes in love with this sweet boy. Honestly, the boy is the best first love a girl could request. He's passionate, yet withdrawn, and intelligent, and the sweetest guy in the world. Strangely, he tends to hide his sweet parts. He relies on the sarcastic comments he spews at people to pretend that he's not a big mush ball, the same way I am. Although he's not nearly as bad.

So there it is. I let it happen. I fell in love with a boy who knows me better than I know myself. I used to be able to pretend I wasn't crying when we talked on the phone, but now he can hear the tears, even if they haven't even fallen yet. It's amazing.

So the boy leaves on his mission on Wednesday. For all of you non-LDS readers, a mission is a two year hiatus from the world for our church where our young men serve the Lord and attempt to spread his gospel. It changes these young men, in a good way.

There you have it folks. The gist of our relationship-unexpectedly passionate and spontaneous. But also comfortable in every good way. Our first meeting was on a Sunday, when we started talking at Tunnel Singing. Then our first "date" was to hike the Y. Then we had a sweet and adorable first kiss under a tree on a bench outside May Hall. oh how I miss him. This is my first "missing" too. I feel a little dead inside.

Love, Sarai

PS:

I am sad

I Miss the Old

I miss this..

Oh, and this:

I miss my sweet boy-I probably wouldn't miss him as much if he were able to talk to me right now, but he's in the wilderness backpacking with his best friend. But also, he's leaving on his mission (for our church) in July. Oh how I'll miss him.

And then also I miss Nancy and Celeste. These ladies are my rocks, my foundation, my loves. I miss our late night sleepovers, our food, our talks, all of it. Hopefully Nancy will be moving to Provo soon so that she can transfer to BYU. Yayayayayay!

So update on my life:

I got a second job! At Victoria's Secret. It's like my little dream place, with all the pink, and the bows, lace, bras, panties, smelly yummy things.

I've literally bought only black clothes and accessories the last few days. Because that's our uniform. I enjoy it though. It gives me an excuse to shop ;)

So at the moment, besides the missing people and my new job, nothing else is really happening...

But, Nancy sent me this song, saying it made her think of Dane and I.

Love, Sarai

Sweet Boy

Details:

Chambray-Walmart

Headwrap-Icing

Earrings-Icing

Shirt-thrifted

Leather Pants-Bohme

Sandals-Icing

Ring-Icing

Watch-gifted

Life is obviously going great, at the moment. I made rolo cookies, dressed like a lazy bum for work today (disclaimer-I was wearing a sports bra the entire day), and I realized how lucky I am to be in constant contact with my sweet boy. I miss him greatly, but soon I'll get to see him. Soon as in, Tuesday. I'm literally wiggling with excitement. You should see it. The funny thing about us is that we're not overly mushy in general. But we bring it out in each other. Observe: last night when he asked what we should talk about, I said, how much we love each other. Is this me?!!?! I don't understand! I'm a melting puddle of girl when I talk to him. Oy vey

Love, Sarai

PS:

Yellow Alligator

Hey everyone. 

So I guess you could consider Nancy and I the worst bloggers ever...

How long has it been since I posted? Five years? Possibly.

Anyway, things I love right now:

My new roommates-Kitty and Caity. These girls are the best, and they're crazy. We crank that One Direction CD like there's no tomorrow.

My Apartment. I have an apartment? Say what? That's what adults have...

Chocolate cake-It's just too good not to love

Red Stoneware... Audrey (the other roommate) and I bought some and it's the best. It makes my heart sing!

Gold glitter heels will always be my favorites

My sweet boy. The Danster. I miss that kid so much. I'm supposed to go to Texas, but I just got the bad news that that might not happen... sad day. 

Shoot. I don't know how this list turned sad. Welp. That's lame.

Love, Sarai

PS:

Ducks

Details:

Shirt-Forever 21

Pants-Forever 21

Shoes-Forever Young

Diamond and Chain Bracelets-Icing

Bangles-Icing

Watch-Gifted

I think I may have found the most peaceful and joyful activity in the entire world. Feeding ducks. I convinced Dane to go feed the ducks with me today, and I loved every second of it. Granted, the pond smelled awful, but also ducks poop in it, so whatever. It's to be expected. And it turns out nowhere on campus do they sell anything remotely resembling oats, or the like. It was weird. So we bought raisins, hoping the ducks would want to eat them. They did. I hope that was safe. If we find out the ducks died, I swear it was something else. It was basically the most wonderful thing ever though. After that we walked over to the nature trail and sat and talked for a spell. Then the kid convinced me to go bowling (!) with his ward. Disclaimer: I hate bowling. With a passion. I always look so stupid, and I just suck. Anything where I throw a heavy ball is dangerous for surrounding people. So I protested. But he wanted to show me off to the ward I suppose (that's what I tell myself at least). And we actually had fun. Not the bowling part (although I did beat his score the second round hehe), but just the hanging out part. It was blast. Practice for open mic followed. We're singing Walk the Line and Don't Worry Baby. Should prove to be delightful for anyone listening. I hope haha.

Love, Sarai

PS:

Sonnet XVII

i do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

i love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

i love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

i love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so i love you because i know no other way

thank this: where i does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as i fall asleep

Pablo Neruda

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Steinbeck on Love

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In November of 1958, John Steinbeck — the renowned author of, most notably, The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, and Of Mice and Men — received a letter from his eldest son, Thom, who was attending boarding school. In it, the teenager spoke of Susan, a young girl with whom he believed he had fallen in love.

Steinbeck replied the same day. His beautiful letter of advice can be enjoyed below.

(Source: Steinbeck: A Life in Letters; Image: Thom and John Steinbeck with their father in 1954, courtesy of UC Berkeley.)

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

Originally from Letters of Note.

~Nancy

Walking

We enjoyed the sunshine today by having a little walk by the falls. It was lovely, and Dane wanted to teach me how to skip rocks. It was a failure. I suck at all things involving throwing. If I didn't have to work today I would be out there in the sunshine right now. But alas, I do work, and I can't just hang out outside all day long :(

Funny thought: I think you know it's true love when you can compare each other's acne. Lovely, right?

Love, Sarai

PS: