The Fear You Won't Fall

Photos by Carson

Details #1
Hat-Costume department at Hudson's Bay
Dress-thrifted
Shoes-Forever Young Shoes

Details #2
Tunic-Bekah
Belt-thrifted
jeggings-Icing
Boots-Alloy
Earrings-gifted

I love these ladies. The blondie, Brittni, is a Southern Belle like no other before. She's classy and outspoken, all at the same time. I simply adore her and her enthusiasm for everything. She's legitimately the first friend I made at BYU. Which kind of makes her amazing :)
And Carson. The fiery and sarcastic redhead that I know and love. She's a citizen of the world, having lived in Mexico, France, Britian. She's bloody brilliant at pictures btw. She does all of mine now :)
These ladies are just fan-freaking-tastic, and Brittni is so nervous about her disney princess auditions tomorrow... poor girl :(

Anyway--
the name of this post...
wow.
okay, all yall know by now that I have a boyfriend. And on Wednesday, we reached the one month mark. Which is astounding for a commitment phobe such as myself.
My problem is, I'm so love with the idea of being in love, that I can't handle it when the real thing comes along. Don't smile and congratulate just yet--I'm not in love. But being in a relationship, of course I can't help but imagine that when that happens, I want to know that he loves me too.
And thus the fear
It's hard for me to give myself to someone in a relationship sort of way. When I told my best guy friend this summer that I had feelings for him, I assumed I had hit the jackpot. He told me he felt the same, and my terrified little heart came out of hiding and hoped beyond hope that maybe there was a wonderful guy right in front of me.
I suppose the celebratory dances my heart did were premature, being that he changed his mind.... awk.
It's all good. We're back to normal.
But now you must understand--It hasn't been an easy road for a hopeless romantic such as myself. I may be scared of relationships, but I never ever stop fantasizing. So now, being in a relationship, it feels so different than I thought it would. How will I know if I fall in love? I hear that it's different for every person
And when I heard this Joshua Radin song, I just couldn't help but get all scared. I told Nancy I should get out of this before something crazy happened. She talked me off the ledge like a good best friend ;)

Love (not romantically), Sarai

Leggings As Pants....

Outfit Details

Shirt-Forever21 thrifted

Leggings-Sisters' drawer

Belt-thrifted

Boots-Alloy

This is my rule-breaking monday post! Please be proud of me for wearing leggings as pants! I used to shun it, but when I got this lovely tunic type shirt, I just had to try it! I just kind of love it :)

It's so comfortable, I'm surprised I've never done it before! Wow :P

Oh and Hey! This is the first cake I've ever made for MONEY in my whole life! I'm very much into cake decorating, and I always watch those shows where people decorate cakes, and especially CUPCAKES! So my favorite things in the whole world :)

So this was for Marian's 89th birthday party, and I was actually very proud of the way it turned out! Devils Food cake, with Chocolate Ganache over it. Yummy :)

And on a more grave note, anyone from the Vancouver are will have heard about Mark Golyshevskiy, a local 18 yr old who was in a motorcycle accident last night. He died on impact. Usually, I would mention tragedies such as these, because they generally have nothing to do with me, and I feel disrespectful mentioning those things. But in this case, I actually knew the guy. I didn't know him, I'd only met him a few times, but he had been dating one of my closest friends for two years and four months. She's in shock right now. I've been with her most of the day, and it's been so hard to watch her fall apart the way she has. Surprisingly though, she's displaying an incredible amount of courage, and strength. She's such a beautiful person, and so brave, I cannot imagine how something so awful could happen to someone so young, and for a girlfriend like her to be left alone. I love her with all my heart, and I know that she is strong enough to handle the pain, and the fear. She was so in love with him, and him with her. On the phone with her tonight, I couldn't keep from sobbing because I could just feel her pain through the phone. I wanted to hold her tightly, and tell her that Heavenly Father and The Savior are watching him, and her, but she's not quite ready to hear anything quite that heavy. But I was at least able to tell her that she is so lucky to have loved someone that much, and have them love her in return. 

Mark will be missed <3

Love, Sarai

Free Pancakes at IHOP, and Dutch Bro's Smoothies!

Outfit Details Yesterday (top outfit)

Cardigan-borrowed

Blouse-Target

Jeans-thrifted

Belt-thrifted

Flats-Nancy's

Outfit Details today

Sunglasses-Anthony's (borrowed)

Long sleeve white tee shirt-Charlotte Russe

Blazer-New York & Company (thrifted)

Jeans-Charlotte Russe

Boots-Alloy

Necklace-birthday gift from Erin and Anna!!

Makeup notes-Lipstick Rimmel Bordeaux

Boy-Anthony

Yesterday lunch was phenomenal...

So phenomenal I was late for fourth period....oopsie :)

It was free pancakes at IHOP day guys. I couldn't resist! My Government teacher wasn't super-appreciative, but she got over it.

And today we went to Dutch Bro's Coffee, where I got a seriously wonderful wild berry smoothie! It was so delicious I couldn't handle it! And the guy was cute in a probably-does-drugs kind of way...so no...

And he also forgot my whipped cream....not cool dude. I don't care how blue your eyes are!

And today I auditioned for the latest school play! Last semester I played Hermia in A Midsummer Night's Dream, and last year I was Juliet in Romeo and Juliet.

And this time around? We're not doing Shakespeare...we're doing 'Our Town'! I kinda only know a little bit about it, and i tried out for the main part of Emily Webb....I had to recite a monologue, and I couldn't figure out what I wanted, so I just wrote one myself.....

I think it went well :) I actually made my sister cry! Awww! So sweet of her!

Love, Sarai

I GOT INTO BYU-PROVO!!!!!!!!!

Outfit Details

shirt-thrifted

tank-Romy

Jeans-Charlotte Russe

Boots-Alloy

Scarf-thrifted

belt-thrifted

I cannot focus on this at all, but here goes a blog!

Well today was fantastic....it's snowing....

my birthday party is figured out!

That's pretty much everything except...

I GOT INTO BYU!!!!! PROVO!!!

I'm unbelievably happy right now :)

I mean, I had already gotten into BYU-I, but this is like, a personal triumph for me, because I was completely convinced I couldn't do it..

and my brother is going there.....as soon as he gets off his mission we'll both be there....

I started crying for a second when I found out, because I was so upset that I couldn't call him right then and there to tell him the wonderful news. He's one of the first people who should know! He's been encouraging me the entire time, and he believed I could do it even when I had resigned that we wouldn't go to college together....

but I was wrong :)

the lord was right!

and so were my brother and nancy ;)

Love, the now proud BYU-Cougar, Sarai!

Wonderful Missionary Moment!

I'm on a complete spiritual high today!

I gave my friend the Book of Mormon today, and I was terribly nervous, and I wanted to run in the other direction, but I just sucked it up, and I gave him the book!

It went tremendously wonderful :)

He responded well, saying thank you, hugging me, telling me that he wanted to read it tonight! I'm so happy right now :)

Guys, this guy is a wonderful person-he's the perfect guy to join the church, and I'm not getting my hopes up, but who knows what could happen, right?

Outfit Details

Dress-Nancy's

Tights-Michaela's

Boots-Alloy

Tanktop-Forever 21

Day two of the fashion challenge, and I'm already repeating! I'm wearing the black dress again hahaha

So pray for my friend, the one reading the Book of Mormon, and pray that I know the right thing to say!

Love, Sarai

PS-ha it was super-windy in these pictures! Cold, but delightful!!!

Where's Waldo?

Let's see...today I got comparisons to Waldo, a sailor, and a Candy Cane! Waldo was my personal favorite though ;)

I went thrifting this weekend actually...I found some great stuff that I'll post about tomorrow when I have a bit more time! 

So here's a funny story...last night, I realized I had way too much homework, so I tried to do the majority of it...resulting in me being ridiculously tired today. Not so tired that I was falling asleep...no...worse. I was so tired that I was giddy!! Insane... So funny though. I think people were highly entertained to say the least ;)

And also, I've decided that my new show to watch, Being Human, on SyFy, has some of the most adorable male characters of all time! A strikingly good-looking Aiden, and a adorably-scruffy/perpetually worried Josh make up the male leads involved in the show. I have to say, for a BBC rip-off, it's worth watching :D

 

Outfit Details-

Turtleneck-thrifted

Jeans-Charlotte Russe

Boots-Alloy

WATCH!...borrowed from my dad :)

Yeah I was definitely inspired by Sydney's desirable man-watch and I needed one! But alas...I am without husband, or even boyfriend, to buy one for me! Sooo I made do with Daddy and he let me borrow his nice watch :)

And this is just a cool shot of my Germany shoes, and the new tights I bought :)

Love, Sarai